Posted by: jockmackenzie | July 25, 2009

Speaking – Joke Telling #3

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I AM POSTING A SERIES OF JOKES THAT MAY BE USED TO GET STUDENTS INVOLVED IN “PUBLIC SPEAKING” IN A SUBTLE WAY. A PROCEDURE USING SMALL GROUPS ALLOWS THEM TO GET PRACTICE TELLING RATHER LONG JOKES AND THEY GET TO TELL THEM TO ONLY A COUPLE OF LISTENERS AT A TIME.

Mary and Angus lived just outside a small town in Scotland. They had only one child. His name was Haimish and he was a very active young lad, but still was their pride and joy. One day, Haimish had gone into town to play with some of his friends. On the way home, a terrible storm began and torrents of rain poured out of the sky. Haimish, who had stopped to play by the riverside, was swept into the water. One of the townsmen happened to see Haimish and he leapt into the rising waters, swam out, and saved the young boy. Haimish was returned safely to his home by some neighbors.

The next day, Mary went into town to look for the man who had saved her son. Spotting him sitting in the town square, she strode up to him and said, “Are you the man who saved my wee Haimish from drowning in the raging river yesterday afternoon?”

The man’s chest swelled with pride. He stood and announced, “Aye, ma’am. ‘Twas I who risked life and limb to drag the wee laddie from the torrents of the that wicked river.”

Mary looked him straight in the eye and demanded, “So where’s his tam?”

* * *

One day, just before lunch, Jane wandered into her treetop kitchen and discovered there was no food. “Tarzan,” she whined, “there’s nothing to eat. Go out and hunt up some grub.”

Tarzan, lord of the jungle, leapt to his feet, grabbed his bow and arrows and his trusty hunting knife and swung off to look for some lunch. After considerable searching, he spied two small birds. Using his great skill – and two arrows – he shot the two birds, stuffed them into his hunting sack, and continued to look for more food.

Soon, he came upon a pair of small monkeys. Using his knife, he threw accurately, killing one, retrieved his weapon, and made quick work of the other little beast. He dumped both monkeys into his bag and went swinging back through the vines to his happy jungle home.

He boldly marched into the kitchen, and proudly dumped his catch onto the table.

Much to his surprise, Jane moaned in response and said, “Oh no, not finch and chimps again!”


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