Posted by: jockmackenzie | August 16, 2009

Speaking – Joke Telling #14

P9230068I TOOK THIS PHOTO IN CHETICAMP ON CAPE BRETON IN NOVA SCOTIA. THE SIGN MAKES IT APPEAR AS IF THE SHOULDER OF THE HIGHWAY HAS BEEN ALLOTTED AS MOTEL PARKING.

THE SECOND JOKE IS ANOTHER INTERNET JOKE. FOR SENSITIVE MINDS, LOOKING UP JOKES (EVEN BY SEARCHING UNDER ‘CLEAN JOKES’) ONE RISKS DIVERSE OPINIONS OF ‘CLEAN.’

A golfer came to a Par 3 hole where he had to hit over water to get to the green. He had been playing with a brand new ball but was afraid of losing it in the water. He went back to his bag and found an old, beat-up golf ball and teed it up.

Just as he was addressing the ball, a booming voice came down from the sky. It said, “USE THE NEW BALL!”

The golfer decided to take the advice from above, so he replaced the old, beat-up ball with the new one.

Just as he was about to hit, the booming voice said, “TAKE A PRACTICE SWING.”

Following the advice from above, the golfer took a practice swing.

The booming voice then said, “USE THE OLD BALL!”

* * *

Two Buckets of Fish from Mike Stock – http://www.highrollerwest.com/site/456404/page/621716

A man with two buckets of fish was stopped by a game warden in Lubbock recently. The man was leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”
The man replied, “No, sir. These are my pet fish.”
“Pet fish?” the warden asked.
“Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into the buckets, and I take them home.”
“That’s impossible! Fish can’t do that!” the warden said.
The man looked at the warden for a minute, then said, “Here, I’ll show you. It really works.” So he took the warden down to the lake, turned the fish loose, and waited. After several minutes, the game warden said, “Well?”
“Well, what?” the man responded.
“When are you going to call them back?” the game warden asked.
“Call who back?” the man said.
“THE FISH,” the game warden said.
“What fish?” the man asked.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: