Posted by: jockmackenzie | April 1, 2010

Teachers Who Write – Golf Partners

This family photo is not what the following poem is all about. This happy band of campers is set to embark on a thoroughly enjoyable outing (including moi, the photographer). Sometimes my bride (see centre) and I are not so lucky; we have been paired with some real doozies . . . and therein lies the tale:

Golf Partners

When my wife and I go golfing,

We enjoy it somewhat more

Playing golf with different people –

Folks we haven’t met before.

Most are friendly, some are chatty,

Some we find a little trying

Like the fellow from McMurray;

He was very good at lying.

On the first hole with his driver

He duck-hooked a brand new Nike.

We were sure it was a goner.

Worth a look? Not very likely.

But the fellow reassured us

He had just the spot in mind;

He sped off to the position

For the ball he swore he’d find.

Jan and I are both just walkers;

We arrived in time to see

Lyin’ Brian there a smilin’

With his ball – an NXT!

Yet another trying pairing,

Later that same golfing season,

Saw us suffer from a fellow

Who failed – but with a reason.

He could drive and pitch and putt the ball

Like any in the biz,

But when he missed or duffed or shanked,

The fault was never his.

He was using borrowed irons,

Or the slope was quite severe,

Or a gust of wind had just come up,

Or he’d had too many beer.

Or he hadn’t seen the bunker,

Read the slope the other way,

Was interrupted by a noise,

When he was set to play.

Or the card must have neglected

To announce the out of bounds

‘Cuz he’d never had such awful shots

In all his many rounds.

But liars and excusers

Quite thankfully are rare;

More often normal, honest folk

Make up the other pair.

When my bride and I go golfing,

We try to have the aim:

“Enjoy the walk, embrace the day.

’Cuz golf is just a game.

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