Posted by: jockmackenzie | March 22, 2017

New words to existing poems

One of the easiest ways to get students excited about poetry is to share the best (in this case, a personal favourite: The Cremation of Sam McGee) and then have them write new words. Here’s my attempt: Version 2

There Are Strange Things Done On the Golf Course, Son

By Jock Mackenzie

 

There are strange things done on the golf course, son

By the hacks who haunt the links.

The tees and the greens and the in-betweens

Could tell some tales methinks.

The summer days have seen displays

Of the famous and of the renowned,

But this tale of strife is about my wife

When she asked to play a round.

To “play a round” is a welcome sound

But “golfing” is what she meant.

She loved me dearly and showed it clearly –

What could I do? We went!

Now my blushing bride and my manly pride

Were truly in for a test

They call it a “game” but what’s in a name?

I never have been so stressed.

On the fateful day when we made our way

To the course where I belong,

She was dressed to the nines and lookin’ so fine

I guessed that I had been wrong.

What could possibly mar this quest for a par?

What tragedy could ensue?

A husband and wife should share in their life

And be more like one than two.

I gave her a peck as she waited on deck,

And wondered if it would do

If she wouldn’t mind or could be resigned

To a helpful hint or two.

She turned to me and, “No,” said she,

“Just trust me in this, my love.

I saved and I paid for some teaching aides –

I bought Butch Harmon’s gloves.

And this Speed Stick thing from Vijay Singh,

Well it works just like a charm.

Then to help my stroke, they’ve invented this yoke

That I strap to my waist and my arm.

My putting machine, my workout routine, the bracelet for my wrist

They’re all guaranteed; I know I’ll succeed – so no advice, I insist.”

A wife’s request, as you may have guessed,

Is something you don’t ignore

So my wife and me, we stepped to the tee,

I couldn’t resist any more.

I silently cursed cuz I had to hit first; I wrestled to solve the riddle.

Was it protocol to hit the ball long and down the middle?

I stood at address, then gave it my best,

My drive went straight and true

I peeked at my bride; she was beaming with pride.

She said, “Now for my debut.”

My sweet little lass knelt down in the grass,

And jammed in her tee with a twist

Then over the ball she tried to recall all of the things on her list.

Her muscles went taut as she mentally fought

To remember just what to do.

The tension was clear; the moment was here

And then right out of the blue

Like a gong to a bell, her three wood just fell

She really had given her all

Yet still on the tee was that shiny Pro V

Oh no! She had missed the ball.

With unshattered pride she stepped back and sighed

(Ever the consummate actress)

“Don’t look so concerned; there’s one thing I learned –

Always start with a practice.

One waggle, one wiggle, one little hip jiggle,

She drew back her club low and steady

Then just like a pro, so smoothly and slow,

She hit it just like she was Freddie.

A Fred Couple’s swing is a beautiful thing

She’d hit it on the screws!

A speck was all you could see of the ball

As it climbed into the blue

It fell from the sky and it rolled right by my drive

(My ego was jarred)

She was tickled pink, then she gave me a wink,

and said, “Golf’s not so hard.”

So the round began – a woman, her man –

In truth I feared the worst.

I was thunderstruck. Was her drive just luck

Or was my bubble to burst?

But the game we play seems to have a way

At revenge, as if by design

It’s a slippery slope, give and take of hope,

It gives both ‘rain’ and ‘shine’

My bride and I had some lows and some highs

Flashes of glory and fame

Some time at the beach (golf’s figure of speech)

Shots ranging from awesome to lame.

It became quite clear my initial fear

That my wife would clean my clock

Was the silly thought of a man distraught

I relaxed and enjoyed the walk.

And since that day, I look back and say

I’m amazed at the prize I found

On the course of life, with my love, my wife

When she asked to play a ‘round.’

A chance to go and a chance to grow

To golf with the one meant for me

On the tees and the greens and the in-betweens

It’s the way that it should be.

There are strange things done on the golf course, son

By the hacks who haunt the links

Your mom and your dad will always be glad

To share the tale, methinks.

Of the summer day we went to play

Together as husband and wife

We’re the twosome who grew some

And now we’re a pairing

As we walk down the fairway of life.


Responses

  1. you are so creative! Jock

  2. Love this!!!


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